Your little red BMW struggled under the weight of gravity as I forced it to the top of the hill, leaving the noise and the lights of the traffic beneath us. Your fingers traced circles in my palms as I piloted us up the the mountainous terrain. I nervously made Jokes as though it was our first date… We left your car with the valet and walked through the plush garden to enter the restaurant, my hand finding yours. As it always does. After being seated, you looked down the mountain at easily one of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen. You looked around with a grin as you pulled out your phone and covertly started snapping pictures of Orange County from above. My heart was racing, I couldn’t stop grinning, I couldn’t stop looking at you, Why was I sweating so much? I couldn’t stop noticing all of the little things about you. The hard part was, My body didn’t allow me to process them one at a time. My heart and my eyes and nose and fingers and ears and mind were all were focused at once. Each was feeding me separate streams of information all at once. The way the Candlelight reflects in your eyes, a soft whiff of your perfume, the gentle melody of your voice as you hummed Adele and texted your mother. I was completely overwhelmed. I couldn’t speak. I just sat there. Completely dumbfounded. I tried to order my thoughts and focus on one thing at a time. The dim lighting and the soft glow of the candle on your skin. Then allowing the sound of your voice to enter my ear and gently add privatized mood music for our table. Then The feeling of the silk napkin under my fingers and the taste of the Gin and Tonic lingering. But then it all got Jumbled, and I gave up on keeping it all straight and just resolved to experience every facet of it. I sat, overwhelmed and in awe. Our food came, and I dug in and analyzed every single ingredient. I separated each flavor and some of them I even vocalized. There was nothing that I could manage to say other than to name the ingredients I taste in the food. The whole time my eyes never leaving you. I was inspecting you as though you were about to disappear at any moment, As though My mind was your sole creator,As though if I blinked or looked at you wrong, you’d vanish. My mind was so overcome with the very concept of you, and you being here with me, and this… this complete perfection that I felt about the whole situation.
I would tell you I loved every second of the meal. But that’d be a lie. I fucking hated eating that Tuna Tar-tare that you refused to.